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~ The Thinking Shredder! Guitar, Music and Life-arts observations

The Lightspeeder's Universe

Tag Archives: Inspiration

Part 11: A Musician’s Guide to Self-help, Encouragement and taking Action

14 Monday Oct 2013

Posted by thelightspeeder in inspirational

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art, creation, guidance, guitar, Inspiration, Music

Hello and welcome back to my 11th installment of my blog and my story. If you are curious about the previous events, feel free to go back and read the older postings.

Time flies once you graduate from high school or college and looking looking back now on the events and career turns I took, I am not sure if I could or would do it all over again. I know there’s this cliché when successful people are asked if they would do everything the same or if they had any regrets and the answer is always, yes, I’d do it all the same way or over again or no, I have no regrets….perhaps it is easier to say once you are at a point in your life or career that has confirmed your believes and hard work and has rewarded you positively in any kind, thusly confirming your choices and actions….but what if that wouldn’t happen? You are hard working, sacrificing and getting older and still not have gained any movement, direction or rewards from your commitment to the life you choose while your friends move on and succeed and your family and friends are asking you why you are wasting your life.

I have had my fair share of dark moments and concerns and insecurities and it is only normal to experience these emotions as one is looking for reassurance that we chose the right path.

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Remembering my college time and when things were “easier” and realizing that there’s only a hand full of my fellow school mates that are still perusing a career in music actively with no “day job” to subsidize or have moved on to something completely different made me realize that I am still doing ok. Of course, I have missed chances with big auditions and gigs, career opportunities and, connections and teaching appointments, and belong to a forgotten generation of guitar players (my definition of guitar players that came up during the age of Grunge Music and then in the 2000s the wave of NuMetal)…I have lots of friends who made it (popular definition for a musician who either tours with a big act or became a big act) and yes, I get asked a lot why I am not doing this or why I am not….and it is like a needle in the heart every time it get this question because it is belittling my efforts and my music and seemingly takes away my pride as a musician because I am being categorized indirectly as a failure….well….if you want to accept this. It takes luck, you would say, right? Well, luck is when preparedness meets opportunity but what when these 2 elements never meet? It takes a lot of energy to be motivated, to express your creativity, feelings and thoughts and to not give up.

I guess here’s another cliché, to give up is easy and you never know how close to success you were really unless you stick with it. Both statements are true but also hard to grasp for most people since it’s such a common saying. Giving up actually is not easy, since a lot of times we have not though about alternatives or other things to do or gained other interests and skills, so giving up brings up a whole new problem, what to do after? I realize this very often when I reach this point every few weeks, but the I realize that I can’t do anything else…and I have never done anything else but music….sure I have other talents but again, this is a different life.

So, let me bring this to a clear and simple point. Ask yourself whenever you feel doubtful about your path, no matter what you do, is this the only thing you can do? Is there an alternative to your life or path? No matter what your answer might be, ask yourself first this, what does success or succeeding mean for you? Perhaps you already have “made it” and you have never noticed it because you are so engulfed in you trying to succeed in a goal that might not be the one you actually set out to achieve? Imagine the story of the carrot and the stick. Your goal is the carrot and you are following it, trying to get to it while your ego is holding the stick in front of you and thusly you move forward but will never achieve your set goal because it is consistently changing. 2 things will come from it:

1. You will be frustrated since you can’t seem to achieve your goal and give up (again, read the statement above and you will find that there’s no giving up)

Or

2. You will realize that your efforts lead you forward and also understand that because of added skills, achievements and growth your goal has changed and will keep changing.

Once you realize that there is no option but movement, no matter what you do, you can see the good and beauty in the path you have chosen. Understand that time, circumstance and actions make you into whom you are.

I have realized for myself that what I do is who I am and that is how people I meet perceive me as well. Perhaps it sounds silly but I do wear my heart on the sleeve.

Thank you for reading and I hope this gives you inspiration and positive motivation to deal with life and events. Feel free to comment, share or just email me at lightspeeder1@mac.com

For more info, please visit my website

Part 10: A Musician’s Guide to Self-help, Encouragement and taking Action

03 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by thelightspeeder in inspirational

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Tags

art, guitar, Inspiration, Music

Hello and welcome back to my 10th installment of my blog and my story. If you are curious about the previous events, feel free to go back and read the older postings.

My 8th blog entry described the events of 2001 and how my last semester at Berklee began, with the events of 9/11.
It was a very shocking moment for all of us, and I don’t mean just the Berklee community, or America….I mean the whole world. These events took a whole generation’s innocence and hope. I could feel how the universe changed and altered life for everyone.

I think all of us students at Berklee were deeply in shock and we all tried to heal during the whole fall semester. I had only 2 credits left, one was Conducting 2 with Valerie Taylor and History of Art 2 with Henry Tate, who I believe really made a difference in everyone’s life and understanding.
I used my free time to compose and write music as well as trying to understand what I have to do next for my career and of course how to obtain a legal working permission after I graduated. As a kid of the 90s and growing into the internet age, I realized that careers are now made online and I began to post my music on a website called mp3.com. I am sure most of you reading this don’t even remember this anymore or have never heard of it but the business concept was very musician friendly and would pay per play and also press your CDs for you….I was able to release my first solo record on mp3.com called “Acceleration420” and sell quite a few records and develop a fan base and audience. Additionally, I looked for work playing guitar in musicals and managed to get hired for quite a few musicals in Boston, all non-union of course and since I wasn’t in the union, I was prohibited from playing in Union houses, but I was able to earn a living playing in Boston’s Theater district.

Times weren’t easy tho. Most people stayed home since they were still in shock of the 9/11 events and lots of shows closed earlier due to low attendances….on the other hand, I noticed that the Hollywood Video Store on my way home always was completely out of movies…it certainly were interesting and confusing times. Once my last semester at Berklee came to an end, I had to make decision, should I go back to Germany or try my luck in America. I always felt displaced from “home” and there was nothing for me to go back to, so I decided to stay. I got all my paperwork in order and applied for a visa called Optional Practical Training or OPT1 that let’s me stay and work for one year in the field of my studies…..it wasn’t easy to be a musician during this time….

I worked hard and hardly made a living during 2002, I was determined to not give up and not get distracted by accepting a non musician job. I played a lot of musicals, worked on new music and taught occasionally lessons. Oftentimes, money was so scarce that it was a choice of paying rent or eating…and no, I am not exaggerating. I was very fortunate to have befriended a family that ran a pizza and sub shop across the Forrest Hills T station and I always had helped them with their computer stuff and other things. They really helped me out during this time, setting food aside for me at the end of their day and told me to come by when they closed so I could eat. I don’t think I could have managed without the generosity of some of my friends. But giving up was not an option for me.
The harsh winter of 2002 came to an end and spring and summer looked promising as I had put together a solo band to support my music and also a short-term employment at Berklee’s Guitar Session Program as an ensemble instructor….but that’s another Blog entry.

Thank you for reading and I hope this gives you inspiration and positive motivation to deal with life and events. Feel free to comment, share or just email me at lightspeeder1@mac.com

For more info, please visit my website

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Recent Posts

  • Part 11: A Musician’s Guide to Self-help, Encouragement and taking Action
  • Part 10: A Musician’s Guide to Self-help, Encouragement and taking Action
  • Part 9: A Musician’s Guide to Self-help, Encouragement and taking Action
  • Part 8: A Musician’s Guide to Self-help, Encouragement and taking Action
  • Part 7: A Musician’s Guide to Self-help, Encouragement and taking Action
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